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WHY ALL THE EFFORT FOR A MEME?
One, mareschizo memes are supreme. They make me laugh real hard, they
expose people from other sites that get upset over virtually nothing, and
it's still funnier and easier to work with than snowpity since that has already
largely mutated into being a component of the snowmare phenomenon.
It has the football mob spirit of just shouting shit and obsessing loudly over things
which just brings everyone together under a nice single cause instead of the autistic division
outsiders are trying to inflict on the fandom to make it as cynical and self-destructive as all
other modern ones seem to be (just look at how disgustingly homogenized 4chan has become
over the past few years - it's amazing to think /mlp/ is one of the few places that is keeping old
culture alive like green skin business suit anon while the rest of the site is flooded with unfunny
and uninspired wojak editing with the occasional sneed edit in between postings). Also, mares.
Oh look, a change in font size.
Y'know, that thing Gene Ray loved doing every new paragraph.
Yeah fun fact about that old Time Cube site, the entire thing was
made with really outdated HTML3 era software from Claris that
is called Claris Web Page, most likely version 2.0 since that came
out in 1997, just like the OG site that I had to heavily edit to do this.
Oh hey look a midline color change wowee
gee I sure do love editing out so many font spans that
the document size is sheared in literal half aka
going from 220kb to 100kb almost instantly.
Anyway, since snowpity.com went up doing that "old school looking site" shtick, I decided
to do a joke from my previous (and not updated often enough, gotta fix that) site, Nintendo of American,
a site I made entirely as a joke based on how someone found some other domain like "sega.net"
or somesuch and made it a redirect, so I decided to take a domain so blunt and hard
to even think of typing that when anyone from NCL or NOA ever saw it all they'd see is a
really heavily edited copy of sega.com from Archive.org and 20 metric tons of shitposting
(which I need to still update, re: the gambit page). So why not do it for the sake of mares
and their cuteness and their greatness and glory and cute mare AMRE MARE AMREMHGfuckin mares
Big problem there, editing Gene's HTML isn't even anywhere near easy. At all. As in this took me three weeks
to finish due to the sheer mental fatigue of refactoring such insanely bad HTML.
Step 1: Remove Spans
The index page at the start was half ridden with redundant
usage of font spans to manage the size, color and bold/italics/underline
on every single line when modern HTML allows for looser handling
of formatting tags, meaning midline font color switching can be
done just by having a single color tag without a redundant tag to
terminate the previous font, which the old pages were fiiled up
with to the point that it really did eat 100kb of file size in the main
two pages alone.
On top of that the additions thrown in by the archiver bot running
over it for archive.org years and years ago had to be stripped out
which meant repairing the entire header and body table area
since the bot likes to just railroad the toolbar CSS and HTML into
it halfway into the body tables so it can load four or five extra
CSS files just to handle the toolbar alone. Also, even that had
some spans and useless tables since for some crusty ass reason
there was an ancient keyword tagging system intended for
Internet Explorer 5 and Outlook 2000 up there which added
additional useless custom span classes like "SpanE" so people
could search random words or locations out of the schizo rants
(since Gene thought people didn't know where the US is located).
This is mostly why this took me weeks to finish, since the OG code
was so full of pointless tags that even WYSIWYG editors probably
wouldn't have been able to fully repair due to it being baked onto
every single line due to Claris Web Page and HTML3 standards.
On top of this I discovered while editing the
second page (cutemare2.html) that there were tags added by
Claris that do nothing but tell the editor the window size while
editing and used a "x-" span denoter that was dropped as part of
the HTML standard back in 2012, which is by coincidence the last
year Time Cube ever received updates since by then Gene was
a real old man, seeing as he died at the age of 87
Fun facts about Gene Ray's domains:
The guy legit just kept buying subdomains for everything.
He could have nested a lot of things on timecube.com but instead
in his infinite cubic (now maric) wisdom he decided that spending a
lot more money on random new domains for what amounts to more
of what the main site had made more sense. Luckily I am not a
schizoid boomer, so edits of the domains are now just subpages
of maremaremaremaremaremare.com.
Step 2: Make page one Lighthouse safe
No joke, page one gets a 95% passing grade
from the Lighthouse tab in Totally-Not-IE6-2.0
aka "Chromium", since all it really had any
issues with during rewrites were from miscellaneous
errors such as overlooked font span errors or
there being no alt text on some images.
This is an overhaul of schioid HTML3 and
somehow it's just that compliant with the
Google internet hivemind. Weird, man.
Preemptive Statement to Crybullying Polticized Twitter Weirdos
That Are Too Lazy To Watch Down The Rabbit Hole
"Lol," said the pegasus. "Lmao."
Preemptive Statement to That Canadian Bowlcut Guy
That Botspams Because Of Purple Dinosaur Induced Trauma
"Ayy," said the unicorn. "Lamao."
Preemptive Statement to ESL Consoomers That Cannot Draw Parallels
Between G5 Hors Hopium Huffing and Nu-Star Wars Stooging Circa 2016
"Heheaheauhaeuhaeu," said the earth pony. "Thanks I hate it."
Preemptive Statement to Furries
Fuck outta here, no one wants you leaving shat diapers or cum pizza everywhere.
Fursecution 2.0 when, Hiro?
More whenever I remember to finish this thing. Fuck jannies and the only good G5 is the Power Mac G5.
- enig